Friday, December 9, 2011

The Doctor Is In

Yesterday was therapy day. As in please kill me day.

For those of you who have been following my life (even if it wasn't broadcast on the internet) for the past 13 months you probably know by now that once a week I have therapy as part of my gym. You may also know that I have been trying to get out of therapy for the past 13 months as well. Unfortunately I was told that in no uncertain terms am I allowed to ever stop going.

People don't really understand why I hate it so much. You go into a room and talk about yourself for 50 minutes. How hard could that be? I know I like to talk about myself all the time. But surprisingly she doesn't like discussing whether or not I should cut my hair or what color I should paint my nails. Which is the kind of discussing I like to do. She likes to talk about REAL stuff. Like feelings and emotions and all that crap.

It's painful. I decided for a while that I would be like Charlie Bartlett and take on other people's problems and bring them to her, that way it wouldn't matter. But then as someone pointed out if I said something like "my baby won't sleep and it's making it really hard for me to get to work on time in the morning" she would realize that it wasn't me which kind of scratched that plan off the list.

Yesterday I told her that all my friends feel bad for her.
Therapist: why do they feel bad for me?
Me: Because I'm such a difficult patient and I'm super annoying and don't tell you anything
T: And what do you think about that?
M: I think they're right, I do it on purpose
T: oh thanks

But I figure, we all know I don't want to be there. Why sugar coat it right? She thinks that I don't have anyone to talk about things with but she doesn't know about this blog where I clearly share my innermost feelings with the entire world. (ie the three people that follow it). Do you know that she was surprised to find out how narcissistic and egocentric I am? She didn't believe that I only talk about myself when I'm with other people. THAT'S how bad I am at therapy.

Oh man. It'll be okay. And I mean so far the whole program has been super successful so it's worth it right?

In other news, have you all seen the new Maccabeats video?

Monday, December 5, 2011

What Season Is It Today?

I'm really bad at weather. I discovered this most recently today when I sat outside the gym for 25 minutes in a tshirt and short skirt freezing to death. My problem is that to me New York is cold and Israel is warm and so there is no reason to wear anything more than Naot at any given time. I know that you would assume that after seven years of living here I would have realized that that is not always necessarily the case but I clearly haven't.

It's confusing living in a place where the weather is so indeterminable. It changes from hot to cold so quickly (well in the "winter" I mean. It's never cold in the summer) that it's hard to plan for cold moments. And therefore how can I be held accountable if I'm dressed improperly? I say it's not my fault and am thereby permitted to complain about the weather as much as I please. Especially when my blood is frozen inside my body.

I would now like to take this time to wish a Happy First Day of Work to my friend Chava!! I hope it went well. I'm sad that you didn't take the job writing the "bios" for the Playboy Bunnies but I'm sure this job will be just as fulfilling.

I'm really tired but I'm trying to be good about blogging so it'll become a habit and I won't let myself stop. We'll see how well I do at that. Being unemployed isn't so conducive to having a set schedule but I'm doing my best. Or I'm trying to at least.

Sweet Dreams EBK.


Sunday, December 4, 2011

You Are ALL My Number One Fans!

Wow! I did NOT think I was going to get so many comments about being my number one fan. It's okay I love you all exactly the amount you think I do.

Today I tried something new. It was wake up, put on real clothes in the hopes that being out of pajamas would encourage me to get out of bed and be productive. It half worked. I DID get back into bed but I was productive while lying down so I think it counts. My productivity included going through 50 pages of Israemploy and sending about ten potential jobs relating to horses to Ayal Kellman. The problem with Israemploy is that you don't want to get TOO specific because you might miss out on good jobs but if you're not specific at all then you get tons of Japanese to Portuguese translators which quite frankly I'm tired of doing.

LUCKILY the lovely Leah Weinberg Neiman invited me over for some lunch so it encouraged me to get even more dressed and actually leave the house which was wondrous. Lele is a fantastical cook and I even ate her tofu and get this I LIKED IT! I know, you're shocked. I am a little too. Then we played Scrabble. The Neimans are so good at hosting. When people come over to my house it's like you sit in that chair and play on your phone while I play youtube videos. Actually I have very good taste in Youtube videos. I wish someone would hire me to do that. I did see a job for radio playlist person. That would be a fun job to do until I got fired for only playing Spice Girls and Simple Plan. And High School Musical. I am not embarrassed by my music choices.

Tomorrow will hopefully be an exciting day. Actually I don't know why I said that. But I do know that I'm getting a new phone line tomorrow (WOO HOO) and going to the gym (BOO HOO). Luckily tomorrow's gym day is not a therapy day so I'll just watch MTV UK and lift weights that are waaay too heavy for me and then go home. They keep telling me at the gym that I'm so strong and giving me super heavy weights that I would cry if I knew how much they were in lbs rather than kgs. I wish they didn't think so highly of me, I would much rather lift baby weights.

I should go plug in my computer before it dies.

Wow I'm two for two. Michael Somogyi you better be reading this thing or it's kind of a waste of my busy schedule...



Saturday, December 3, 2011

How did this happen?

I have given into peer pressure. I suppose it was only a matter of time although I'm unclear as to why anyone would read a blog when I'm happy to just tell you all my stories in person. But since my number one fan was so desperate to read a blog of my writing I guess I had to just do it. Anything for the fans right?

I don't really get how these things work is the truth. Are you supposed to censor yourself? Write whatever you're thinking? I think a lot of things and I try to keep them to myself as much as possible otherwise people won't just assume I'm crazy they'll know.

But I guess we'll just figure this out as we go along. It'll be a process. I'll write things and then your feedback can either be positive things (ex: Shira you're hysterical we love you) or negative things (ex: we still love you but that story is not funny please don't write it every post. But you're still awesome and pretty). The last part is key. Negative feedback will not be appreciated and will probably lead to some pretty serious spamming.

But I digress.

I saw this movie tonight. Tower Heist. Definitely recommended. I like movies that are about scheming and you're confused most of the movie. It was kind of like Ocean's Eleven but funnier and with a less hot cast. But still super good.

I wonder if I would be able to pull of a heist. When I was like ten this author who wrote mystery books for kids (David Adler author of the Cam Jansen series) told me that he was going to write a character about me who would be a "giggler". Cam would be about to catch the jewel thief and her friend "the giggler" would have to stay quiet without laughing for one whole minute. Then he held up the microphone to me in front of the whole school and asked me if I could not giggle for one minute. I couldn't. SURPRISE! But I'm sure I've gotten better since then. Actually I'm not sure.

Well I guess it's time to pretend to go to sleep. I know 10:42 on a Saturday night. I'm so cool. But tomorrow is another big day of JOB HUNTING. Dun dun dunnnnn.

Wish me luck!