For those of you who have been following my life (even if it wasn't broadcast on the internet) for the past 13 months you probably know by now that once a week I have therapy as part of my gym. You may also know that I have been trying to get out of therapy for the past 13 months as well. Unfortunately I was told that in no uncertain terms am I allowed to ever stop going.
People don't really understand why I hate it so much. You go into a room and talk about yourself for 50 minutes. How hard could that be? I know I like to talk about myself all the time. But surprisingly she doesn't like discussing whether or not I should cut my hair or what color I should paint my nails. Which is the kind of discussing I like to do. She likes to talk about REAL stuff. Like feelings and emotions and all that crap.
It's painful. I decided for a while that I would be like Charlie Bartlett and take on other people's problems and bring them to her, that way it wouldn't matter. But then as someone pointed out if I said something like "my baby won't sleep and it's making it really hard for me to get to work on time in the morning" she would realize that it wasn't me which kind of scratched that plan off the list.
Yesterday I told her that all my friends feel bad for her.
Therapist: why do they feel bad for me?
Me: Because I'm such a difficult patient and I'm super annoying and don't tell you anything
T: And what do you think about that?
M: I think they're right, I do it on purpose
T: oh thanks
But I figure, we all know I don't want to be there. Why sugar coat it right? She thinks that I don't have anyone to talk about things with but she doesn't know about this blog where I clearly share my innermost feelings with the entire world. (ie the three people that follow it). Do you know that she was surprised to find out how narcissistic and egocentric I am? She didn't believe that I only talk about myself when I'm with other people. THAT'S how bad I am at therapy.
Oh man. It'll be okay. And I mean so far the whole program has been super successful so it's worth it right?
In other news, have you all seen the new Maccabeats video?
I think that while that thetapist may think you have problems, you def make me very happy.
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